The New Direction of Tomb Raider

I say "new direction" loosely, because the two points I'm about to bring up aren't necessarily how the franchise is going to move forward. Rather, it's how I view the current and previous DLC offerings Eidos has released for Tomb Raider: Underworld.

Beneath the Ashes was the first bit of DLC, and it was basically a level from the game, in both scope and gameplay. If you've played any of the recent Tomb Raider games, then you'll know what to expect. It didn't really bring anything new to the table, but I enjoyed it a lot, and even played through it a few times. Now this is where Lara's Shadow comes in.

Lara's Shadow is the latest release, and wow - it totally changes the dynamics of Tomb Raider. For once, I actually enjoyed the combat. So far, combat has been the one glaring weak point in the revamped series, since all it requires is circle strafing and holding down the right trigger. Not so in Lara's Shadow. Since you're playing as Lara's doppelganger, her abilities are quite a significant upgrade in every sense. She has special moves that stagger even the biggest enemies Underworld pitted against you, and firing weapons receives a much needed boost. These abilities are: a super punch capable of breaking enemies into pieces, a jump kick that serves to knock down any enemies in its range, and a slow-motion weapon firing mode that lets you pump about three times more bullets into your target than normal. All these are very, very welcome, and fun to play around with. Add to all of this the super-human platforming, and it almost feels like a totally different game.

Now, on to my two points:

1) I think DLC like these are totally the way to go from now on. Keep releasing DLC with similar-sized content, and give the next full Lara game at least three years of development. In the meantime, if Eidos were to release these episodes about four times a year (roughly every three months), people like me could get my Tomb Raider fix, while still knowing a brand-new adventure was in the works.

2) Experiment more with new gameplay. Lara's Shadow is an excellent first step, and by breathing new life into an already solid formula, Eidos has piqued my interest even moreso than it already was (it was really, really high).

These are the two things I hope Eidos focuses on, instead of releasing a better-looking game that largely does the same thing the last two did. Sure, there were improvements made in Underworld, and yes, I thought the game was awesome. But now, after getting a glimpse of what could happen, I simply can't see them doing the same old shit again and again. If they do, I'll probably still enjoy the game, but the obviousness of a missed opportunity won't be far back in my mind. Another thing I should mention is the pricing. At least for the first two DLC installments, the price tag is $10.00. I think cutting that in half would be about right, but at the same time, I didn't have any reservations getting either one. Lara's Shadow, in particular, gave me my money's worth. If they want to keep the current price, Eidos should look at extending the levels by about a third. Still, what's there is good enough, and I'm not really complaining. Here's to hoping Eidos is reading this and appreciates my analysis enough to hire me as a consultant.


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The Replayability of Resident Evil 5

I think the review we have up for the game sums it up pretty nicely, but I would like to briefly expand on the controls. If RE4 retooled the formula, RE5 perfected it. The game gives you the ability to strafe while walking around, and honestly, that's all it needed. I don't ever feel the need to move and shoot - the game is built on the fact that you can't - and if I could, it would make it far too easy. As it stands, though, the combat is intensely gratifying, and there's no mistaking it for any other game. The controls, as they are now, are a defining aspect of the series, take it or leave it. If you leave it, it sucks to be you.

So let's move on to what I really want to talk about: the replayability of RE5, and why, after about 50 hours in, I'm still planning on playing all weekend long.

If you finish the game on Veteran difficulty, you'll unlock Professional mode. Let me tell you, it's aptly fucking named. Pretty much everything is a one-hit death for you, and at one point early on, I was freaking out because I was being killed by a chicken. If that's not a measure of difficulty, I don't know what is. Also, enemies take a LOT more damage, and good luck finding any ammo. You'll find a few rounds for the handgun, but that's about it. It seems like Professional is built to be ran through with infinite ammo, or a lot of punching and slitting of throats. It's a great ramp-up, but it probably won't be the difficulty I play most often. Veteran is just right, so if you play a ton of shooters, that'll be the way to go on your first play-through.

I say first, because I've completed it on Amateur, Normal, Veteran and Professional, and I'm still playing through various difficulties for specific reasons. The higher the difficulty, generally the more money you'll collect, and you'll also get more exchange points at the end of each chapter. The exchange points are used to buy extras once you've finished the game, and they range from novel items like figurines to essentials like infinite ammo for every gun in the game. Of course, you have to buy infinite ammo for each gun separately, and the cost ranges from 10,000 to 15,000 per gun. I have almost every gun, and I'm still working on buying the infinite ammo for all of them. Currently, I have it unlocked for the M92F, H&K P8, AK-74, Ithaca M37, M3, H&K PSG-1 and S&W M29. I have basically every situation covered, from up-close and personal douches with stun rods, to attackers shooting flaming explosives from 30 yards away.

And that's the joy I get from this game: I can continuously replay the same shit over and over again, but each time find a new reason to do so. Like I said, I still need to buy infinite ammo for a ton of weapons, and I'm going to try and get all the figurines. Right now, I'm working on trimming my play time on Amateur to under five hours so I can unlock the infinite Rocket Launcher and beat even more ass. That, by the way, is something I really appreciate about the game. Ok, so you have to beat the game in under five hours to get the launcher. Fair enough. But the great thing about it is that once you beat the game, you can go to the chapter select and see how long each chapter took you to finish. You can then decide which ones you could trim some time from, and just play the ones you want to. You'll see the overall play time on whichever difficulty you go through becoming less and less, and eventually you'll hit the magic five hour mark. Bravo, Capcom, that's some high-level genius shit right there. I'm at about 6 hours on Amateur and 6-and-a-half on Professional, so I still have some work to do.

Making it seem less like work is the massive arsenal I've stockpiled, and it's pretty amazing how different every gun feels. Even the three kinds of magnums have their own strong and weak points. There's the classic Dirty Harry .357, which does massive damage but has a lot of kickback and a slow rate of fire, and the more modern Desert Eagle, which does slightly less damage but fires about three shots a second and is really shiny. Apply the same comparisons to all 18 guns, and you've got yourself a lot of choices, and a lot of different ways to play the game.

Another high-level genius move by Capcom was to allow all your inventory to be available across every difficulty, both single player and co-op. This has let me acquire mass amounts of ammo, grenades and herbs to the point where I now laugh in the face of death as I piss in its mouth. Most bosses go down in under 15 seconds, and that's only because I lack the infinite Rocket Launcher. Once I get that, go ahead and reduce the boss fights to one-hitter quitters. Simply put, there isn't any better possible way to approach the design of this type of game. No matter what I'm doing, everything I pick up and achieve counts. Whether it's finding gold for buying more weapons and upgrades, or tallying up exchange points for unlockables, it all stays constant with my profile. What more could you ask for in an action game?

And let's face it, RE5 is an action game. It's not scary in the classic sense by any stretch of the immagination. So in that respect, you could argue that RE4 is superior. On the other hand, by giving you so many different weapons that can all unlock infinite ammo, in my book that equals Oblivion-like hours of decapitations and bloody mayhem. RE4 gave you the Chicago Typewriter and infinite Rocket Launcher, along with one of the greatest costumes in any game ever. But once you got those, there wasn't much else left to work towards. Which, mind you, I had no qualms about. I played through that game 4 times spanning 2 systems, so that's obviously not a complaint I have against it. But once you realize the sheer amount of options RE5 gives you in terms of firepower, if your jaw doesn't drop, it must be wired shut. Name me one other game that lets you play as a girl in an Amazonian bikini shooting zombies with a longbow. No, the one in your head doesn't count.

Last, but definitely not least, is Mercenaries mode. This mode completely changes the gameplay (it actually reminds me somewhat of The Club) into a fast-paced race against the clock to score as many points as possible by killing everything that moves as quickly as you can. Killing different kinds of enemies, along with the way you kill them, adds points to your score total. There are time extenders located throughout the maps, and you break them open to get, durh, extended time. You can play by yourself or co-op, and it's just insane how intense this thing can get. It really is like a separate game; the tactics that worked for much of the campaign simply don't hold up to the number and ferocity of the enemies in Mercenaries. The best way to go about it is to stick and move, killing a few guys at a time before relocating to a totally different spot. I think there are a total of 8 maps, and you have to rank at least an "A" on the previous map to unlock the next one. Once you do that, the main goal is to get an "S" rank, which, in co-op, is 150,000 points. To put that into perspective, the first time my friend and I tried the mode out, we scored about 45,000. We've yet to get over 60,000 (tip: dead chicken = 2,000 points). It's a total blast to play, though, and the drastically different gameplay is what makes me love it so much.

With everything now laid out, I really won't accept you not loving this game. If you don't, you've either been deceived somehow, or you're a charlatan with ulterior motives kept secret from the ever-prying eyes of your enemies. I am one of those enemies, and I don't like you. However, if you like shooters, and RE4 in particular, then this is a no-brainer. It's everything that made RE4 great, improved upon. That's high praise right there. Read more...

Friggin mad for MADWORLD!

Clover studios had always been one of my favorite game developers. Whether I was spanking the behinds of the female opponents of God Hand or getting my ass spanked by one of the insane bosses of Viewtiful Joe, I knew that I could bank on a unique gaming experience. Well, Clover is gone if only by name and reborn as Platinum Games with an all new adult themed experience for the waggly Wii. Madworld brings something to Nintendo's console that has been sorely lacking for quite a while.........a hardcore game for hardcore gamers. I truly hope this does well and other developers take notice. This is how you do insane action games for this system.

Jack......just Jack is a contestant for a gameshow called Deathwatch. The idea is to eviscerate all comers and stay alive for big cash rewards. I haven't finished the game yet, but it seems that Jack has his own personal reasons for wanting to be involved in such a suicidal set up.

I often wondered what a video game based on Frank Miller's Sin City would look like. Clearly Platinum was inspired by Frank's violent underworld and that's not a bad thing. There is an old children's joke that goes "what's black and white and red all over?" The answer is no longer a skunk with a bloody nose..... it's the main character Jack of Madworld spilling gallons upon gallons of his foes blood across the TV screen in the most sadistic ways possible. I can honestly say that it is a video game first to see a character get a spike put up their ass and have it come out their mouth in a beautiful fountain of crimson death! It doesn't hurt that the insane visuals are complimented by solid game mechanics.

The waggle never feels forced and it's always fun. Jack has a prosthetic right arm with built in chainsaw that you use the remote to slash vertically or horizontally with. You can also beat your opponents with a punch button. There are a few context sensitive finishers used and they are a joy to perform and watch. If you think that this just sounds like a mindless beat em up experience....you'd be right. However, just killing the other contestants isn't enough to progress to the next level. The game forces you to be creative and use the environment to dispatch your enemies. Each level is only finished after dealing with the boss of the area. But, you must first earn enough points to be able to challenge the boss. Killing a guy with your chainsaw is fun, but only routine. Putting a tire around a guy, shoving a street sign through his head, and impaling him on a spiked wall will triple your score and help unlock the final encounter. There are also mini games to help you score like man-darts, or hurling as many people you can into a jet engine. (the mere thought of that last one makes me smile!)

I've heard some complain about the game's short length. You'll get about five hours of content on your first playthrough. This isn't a game that you want to spend hours at a time with anyways. It works the best in short doses that leaves you wanting more. Over the top violence......over the top bosses......and over the top fun makes Madworld one to own for the Wii.

Sin City's Marv would feel right at home in Madworld

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Final thoughts on RE5

Everybody has a gaming tradition or two. One of mine is with every new Resident Evil release, I take a few days off work, stock up on food and sodas, and cruise through yet another entry in my favorite franchise. That's exactly what I did this weekend, with the release of RE:5. After hearing months of criticism about racism and cumbersome controls, needless to say I was a little skeptical. Now all I have to say is: thank you Capcom, for reminding me why I love games again...

Story:
RE:5's story returns to the series roots, dealing with the Umbrella Corporation. No rescuing the President's daughter in this one. As a fan of the overall story arc of all of the Resident Evil games, I was relieved to see Capcom push the story forward, rather than have another detour. The cut scenes are for the most part well done. You can tell the Dev team took some cues from the likes of Metal Gear Solid 4. The over the top scenes do a great job of sucking you in. No Spoilers here, let me just say the game brings back some old characters, answers some questions, but also is friendly to newcomers as well.

Gameplay:
I am going to be upfront with this: I loved the way RE:4 controlled. RE:5 is VERY similar. The gunplay is handled with the left shoulder button to bring up your gun, right stick to aim, right trigger to fire. And by the way, you can't move when aiming. I can see why this might bother some, but I think it does a great job of adding white knuckle suspense. There is nothing like being surrounded by zombies(?) and choosing your shot and fighting your way through. There are some puzzles along the way to mix it up, but this is no Tomb Raider, action takes center stage here. Bosses are nothing mind blowing, but for the most part, they are fun.

Graphics:
RE:5 uses Capcom's new proprietary engine (MT Framework) and it really shines. Open environments, some of the best character models I've seen, and great effects (Especially the lighting). Sure there is a bland texture here and there, but overall RE:5 will impress, and it runs butter smooth. By the way, I played on PS3.

Final thought: Resident Evil fans, you owe it to yourself to pick this up. It is not as spooky as some of the originals, but it is intense. Action fans new to the series, try the demo. If you can learn to work with the controls, you will find a great experience to be had here. Read more...

Why You Should Play Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

Or, at least I can tell you why I played it. Much of the critical reviews I've read so far have said it falls flat and just isn't funny. I'm not really sure what game they were playing, or exactly how far their heads went up their asses to not enjoy it.

First of all, you have Will Arnett voicing Matt Hazard, and he plays it like a self-aware Solid Snake. And the reason it works is because the story is totally ludicrous, but the laughs are pretty consistent throughout. You see, Matt Hazard is a game character, but once he finishes a game, he goes about his life like anyone else. It's like he's an actor, and his games are movies. When he's done with his part, he goes home. Only he made some bad career choices along the line...let's just say kart racing was involved. This sets the backdrop for an evil publisher who wants to kill him off and replace him with a new action hero (who happens to be a really good Arnold impersonator). But like any good action hero, Hazard doesn't take this lying down. He gets a lot of help from "QA", a mysterious real-life person hacking into the game, who can load in new cover points and provide an exit to each level. The whole scenario is presented well, and while the story couldn't stand up to any kind of scrutiny, it's not really supposed to. It's just a funny riff on the many things we've come to expect from our action games, and it left me with a smile on my face.

As I mentioned, Matt Hazard is self-aware, and he's even aware of the player. At one point, I kept pulling the trigger even though I was out of ammo. Matt noticed, and said "Keep pulling the trigger, maybe it will magically reload." Also, the enemies are supposed to be dumb as hell, constantly screaming out "I have to reload!!!!" at the top of their lungs. It's part of the charm, and actually makes me appreciate well-designed games and A.I. even more.

Matt Hazard's very first adventure. I wish i could play it.

The game itself is very standard, in that you run from room to room, taking out bad guys as you go along. There's a cover mechanic in which you can aim while taking cover (think Rainbow Six: Vegas), and it plays a little like Hitman - only you're supposed to shoot everything that moves. Everything felt fine, but I will say this: the enemies are nothing more than stationary targets for headshots. So the challenge actually comes when there are a bunch of people in a room shooting at you from all angles, and you have to act fast or you're done for (at least on hard difficulty). But honestly, if I didn't enjoy the story so much, I would have been disappointed. Like I said, the game plays fine, but it's nothing I haven't seen countless times before. So there it is - either you think it's funny or you don't, and your enjoyment of the game will most likely hinge on that fact alone. There's a lot to laugh at, such as a boss fight with an androgynous JRPG character, 2D Wolfenstein-like German enemies that, when shot, turn sideways instead of taking cover since they're flat, water gun-toting supersoldiers, and a mage that sounds like William Shatner. I'll leave you with a completely bad ass trailer, the likes of which every game trailer should be made in the image of from now on.




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Watchmen: The End is Nigh- AKA watching Watchmen brutally kick ass!

He's out there praying to his dark overlord of the 9th circle of Hell..... "Klandathu.....please punish those responsible for shitting all over my finest hour as a comic book writer.......it's bad enough that the guy making the Watchmen movie was responsible for 300 men running around in sweaty leather man- diapers, but they are also bastardizing the children of my universe with a putrid video game tie in as well. Oh dark one.....please rip their balls off and shove them so far up their asses that next time they shit....they shit on their balls." If I could imagine what Alan Moore is thinking as his arguably unfilmable Watchmen is finally hitting the silver screen and being marketed like gangbusters........it would be something like that. I know I wasn't looking forward to any type of game in the Watchmen universe. Most of the time, the video game adaptations of popular films are not even worthy to line the bottom of your cat's crap-box. But, the Watchmen: The End is Nigh has proven my fears wrong and is a worthy twenty dollar beat-em-up for your downloading pleasure!

I'll get you Zack Snyder!!!!

You choose to play as either Rorshach or the second Nite Owl as they clean up the streets years before the events of the graphic novel. Animated comic panels and a story written by Len Wein (of Swamp Thing and Watchmen fame) fill you in on the plot details before thrusting you headlong into the fight, and that's really what this game is all about. It reminds me of Rockstar's "The Warriors" from a few years back. It's all about pulling off stylish brutal combos and watching the blood and teeth fly from your opponents. All you do in this game is go from room to room and kick the buh-Jesus out of all kinds of generic bad guys and I can hear the critics now complaining about repetition. But riddle me this FPS fans......what the hell do you do in a shooter? Well......how about YOU SHOOT....over and over and over again till game's end. So it should be no surprise that in a brawler......you brawl....over and over again. Plus, said brawling in this one is so much fun that I can't wait to play through the game again as the second character with different nut-busting fighting techniques. So bottom line, it looks good, plays good, and is fairly cheap in my opinion for what you get. At least check out the demo.....you may be surprised. If not then feel free to join Alan Moore and his Zack Snyder hating cult of doom.

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Peggle....should be called CRACK-ROCK-LE !!

Oh dear God is this game fucking addicting!!!! A simple concept to work with. You have 10 balls and must hit 25 orange pegs to clear a level. You can aim the shot before it is fired off, but after that, the ball just randomly pops off each peg until it drops through the screen. If you get lucky, there is a ball basket swinging back and forth at the bottom of the screen and hitting it means a free ball. The game is deceptive because there is actually quite a bit of strategy involved. Each level has a host avatar each with their own unique powers that are activated after hitting a green peg. A unicorn shows you the trajectory of your shot, while an Egyptian cat widens the free ball bucket at the bottom to give you an extra couple of bounces before leaving the screen. The best part is that when you hit that last annoying peg you get an explosion of Beethoven's Ode to Joy as a reward............bliss! Don't ever play this game....if you do.....you will become obsessed and it will ruin your life, but in the most amazing possible way!!! Which reminds me, I must play now......the crack-peggle-pipe calls and I am too weak willed to resist.

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My take on Killzone 2, a.k.a. "It's Not Fucking Halo So Who Gives a Shit!!!11!!1!! Noob!!1!!"

My first impression of Killzone 2 was pretty much the same as my colleague's - that of utter amazement at the sheer badassery of it all. Everything about the presentation, from the graphics to sound design - the overall immersion - is fantastic. I color myself a pretty well-versed FPS player, at least on consoles, so I think I know a good shooter when I see one. And Killzone 2 definitely looks the part. But once I really dug my heels into the game, all my initial amazement slowly grinded to a halt, and it became more of a chore to play than a wonder to behold.

Don't think I'm not aware of the situation; I'm in the minority here, and that's fine. I don't feel like I should be forced to love a game just because its Metacritic average is 94 (I don't know Killzone 2's numbers, but whatever), or because everyone says you have to play it or you're an idiot. Point of fact, I'm not an idiot, and that's exactly the reason why I traded this game in after two days of playing it. Like I said earlier, when I first popped the game in the disc loader (it's not a tray, so...), I was floored by what I was experiencing. Graphics, and more specifically, graphics in an FPS, go a long way toward pulling you into the moment. Explosions rock the screen, bullets whiz by your head, comrades-in-arms are screaming for help, and a flood of evil Nazi-esque baddies are storming your position. It's fucking intense, to say the least. I was intently focused on everything going on around me, because, well, the game demanded I do so. "Look at me!!!" it screamed, and sure enough, I watched with a smile on my face and an itchy trigger finger.

But as the game progressed, more and more I found myself cursing under my breath at the movements of my character. The simple act of aiming at someone was getting cumbersome and, quite frankly, obnoxious. It's not the slow movement speed that bothers me; if that was the case, I could just turn the sensitivity up and be happy. No - because in Killzone 2, you feel like a real person holding a real weapon. I get that, and I actually like it. The problem comes when I want to move and shoot at the same time. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't played it, but there is a swaying effect that occurs whenever you look around in any direction. The reticle is not instantly responsive to your input, which makes quickly and accurately aiming at an enemy an ordeal in itself. I said the general slow running speed didn't bother me, but add to that the imprecise aiming, and it gets real shitty, real fast. I felt like I was playing under the influence; like I had somehow lost a step or two. It wasn't fun anymore, so I stopped playing. Simple as that.

And no, the fact that I play Halo 3 does not have anything to do with my distaste for Killzone 2. I've also played Far Cry 2, Mirror's Edge, Bioshock, Half-Life 2, Timeshift, Shellshock 2, Resistance, Call of Duty 2 & 4, F.E.A.R. & F.E.A.R. 2, Left 4 Dead, Portal, Rainbow Six: Vegas & Vegas 2, Prey, and Call of Juarez - and that's just the FPS games from this generation. I judge every game on its own merits, and I think Killzone 2 has many in its favor, actually. Just not the one that makes me want to play it. Does that make me a 360 fanboy? Am I lauding the mechanics of one game over another? No, I'm not. I'm simply saying that if the main character of Killzone 2 was to take a breathalyzer test before firing his weapon, he would fail. And I, for one, can't kill anyone unless I'm sober. Read more...

Killzone 2: quite simply....baaadaaaaassss!

I do not profess to be some some sort of expert gaming guru. My years of reading Gameinformer on the shitter or checking the latest 1UP post does not qualify me to tell you about about pop-in, grain, or anything else you techno-wannabe-whores out there may want to hear about. I'm just your average joe gamer, but I know video game bliss when I play it! In the couple of hours I have spent with it, KZ2 has smashed me in the balls with the fun hammer and all I can say is.......more please!

We all know the game looks fan-fuggin-tastic, but beauty alone does not make a game great. I'm also no FPS authority so I realize that some hardcore enthusiasts may have some trouble with the slightly slower control scheme. To this I must simply say "fuck off and return to the kid's table to play Ha-blow with all the other 12 year olds!" Fighting the Hellghast and using the cover system to set up your "killzone" is a blast! I also love the fact that you are basically only allowed one major weapon at a time. I tend to try to stick to guns that I love, but here comes KZ2 with a big F-U you're out of ammo! This forces you to experiment with different arms that are littered throughout the battlefield..........brilliant. The A.I. will also kick your ass by flanking you and making you leave your precious cover. Being chased out into the open where you'll surely be turned into man-mulch by the enemy is an adrenaline rush. (They are supposed to be even better at higher difficulty) I have yet to play any online modes, but I know I'll be ready to once the campaign is over. So far it's fun, fun, fun, till your daddy takes your six-axis away! An exclusive game like this is the reason I'm a PS3 owner. Nuff said. Read more...