Introducing the Pii.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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Waking Up.

I was dreaming about 40 minutes ago. Dreaming about being in my local game store - the one that is the mecca of all things video games. It was one of those dreams where you know where you are, even though the location looks nothing like the real thing. Anyways, I was there perusing the shelves, and one of the only games I can remember looking at was Resident Evil 5 for the Gamecube. You read that right. I remember thinking that it can't look good at all, then flipping the box over and saying, "Well, it looks like Resident Evil 5."

Oh, there was also another one I remember looking at, but it wasn't an actual game. Apparently, it was a boxed version of a game demo, because I remember looking at the back of the box, which had game features actually listed and then crossed out. It was letting you know what the full game will have, but not the thing you're holding in your hands. It was also $26.99. What a steal.

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2009.

I just want to quickly point out that I have absolutely wayyy too many games that I either a) haven't finished or, b) haven't even started.

2009 was the year of me being a douche. That is all.

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Sorry, I haven't played anything.

So instead, I'll leave you with this.


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I just got a call from Samuel L. Jackson.

And he said, "Hi, I'm Samuel L. Jackson. Did you know that if you pre-order my new game, Afro Samurai from Namco-Bandai games, from your local Game Crazy store, you'll receive a free ninja-ninja figurine? Take it with you everywhere you go. It'll be like having a little pocket insurance. It'll be there to remind you every time you do something dumb."

That was the greatest wake-up call I've received in recent memory. I'm still waiting on that call from Scarlett Johansson telling me she thinks my Blood - The Last Vampire t-shirt is awesome. I'm a patient man. Read more...

Darwin loves Doritos.......

.....because T-Rex's chasing dudes driving Doritos delivery trucks makes the most logical sense. This, from the Xbox.com description of Dash of Destruction, the new Doritos branded Xbox Live Arcade game:

"Doritos' Dash of Destruction is a fun and fast-paced racing game. Blast your way through cities as a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex, as you chase a speeding Delivery Truck full of tasty Doritos. Or, try zooming in and out of the T-Rex's path of destruction as the speedy Delivery Truck in search of your Doritos drop-off points. For even more racing madness, Chaos mode lets you and three friends charge through cities eating Trucks or trying not to be eaten. In Zen mode, eat the Truck to become the Truck!"

Hey, Doritos! In MY Zen mode, you get to eat my Shit to become a worthless product placement that isn't worth the nothing I have to pay to play it!


At least this "game" is free. And you get 200 points for "completing" it. It doesn't seem fair that I've put 50 hours into Devil May Cry 4, and I'm sitting at 210 points right now. Man....all I had to do was download Dash of Destruction and I would have saved myself months of fun frustration. I wonder if there's a cameo by The King?

I'll possibly download the demo just so I can say with first hand knowledge how much it infuriates me. Or not. Read more...